Attila the hun

Name: Attila the hun
Brand: Attila the hun
SKU: 20260511153348
Rating: 3.4 (815 reviews)

By James 2026-05-11 15:33:48

3(3650 votes)

Attila the hun. The Huns didn't really have the technology or the manpower to capture the heavily fortified city, so instead Atilla went up and down the countryside searching for any Byzantine Army units that hadn't already been annihilated by his badass wildmen. Eventually, the Emperor in Constantinople surrendered, paid The Scourge of God 6,000 pounds of gold in small, unmarked, non-consecutive bills and agreed to triple the Don't Kick My Ass Tax. For Attila, this was all he needed to hear.

He wasn't interested in owning huge expanses of territory, governing citizens, passing laws or doing any of that other City Hall bureaucracy bullshit paperwork - as long as his enemies were willing to pay him a shitload of gold not to kick their fucking asses, he was more than happy with the knowledge that he had made them all his bitches. Attila returned home, and within a few years his brother died of mysterious causes. I'll give you two guesses who may have been behind it.

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